REMEDIES for Top Mistakes Homeschooling Moms Make Part II

As we bring this series to a close, I'd like to offer the REMEDIES for the second set of Top Mistakes Homeschooling Moms Make. You can read the past posts of this series by finding links HERE.


Mistake: We fall into the trap (read: SNARE OF THE DEVIL) of thinking that we are inadequate or incapable of providing all that our children need in their education, at home.

Remedy: Always, first and foremost: PRAY. Make sure, that you, MOM, are connecting with God, each and every day; for in HIM lies the affirmation and validation and confirmation that you are doing what He has called you to do in homeschooling your children. This is not to say that there is never a circumstance or reason that would compel you to stop homeschooling; only that "your inadequacy" is very, VERY UNLIKELY to be that reason. So, if you are feeling that you are not what your own children need in the way of education...remind yourself that there is a spiritual war going on and the enemy does NOT like the fact that you are teaching your children at home. (It is much more difficult for him to get hold of them that way)  After you pray, make a list of the benefits of homeschooling...or refer to a list like the one we've published on THIS PAGE.  At times, the mundane tasks and daily duties can cloud our "vision" and we forget all the GOOD that comes from what we are doing. Sometimes, all it takes is giving ourselves a little "refresher course" to reaffirm our belief that we CAN teach our children at home. Next, don't be afraid to make a list of what you think your own shortcomings are.
This is important; and being honest about it will help you rectify the situation. Write down specifics about where you think your inadequacies lie, and then do some soul-searching and brain-storming to see if you can think of ways to amend those things. For instance, if you feel that the reason you're not cut out to teach your kids in high-school is that you can't do high-school math...then, check out all the sources on line and available through various curriculum providers to either A) Learn some new math, yourself  or B) Provide a tutor (either an electronic one OR one, in person) to help in that certain area
If you're willing to do this with each item on your list, by the time you're done, you just might find that there IS a solution to every one of your worries...Further, you might find that some of your perceived inadequacies are not really serious enough to make you stop homeschooling. (Something in the latter category might be: "I am so disorganized that I can't keep track of my kids' papers" or "I don't have patience") Believe that if God has called you to educate your children at home (and if you and your spouse made the decision to homeschool, prayerfully, then TRUST that you ARE, INDEED called to it...it's another temptation from the enemy to think that it was all "your own" idea and "not of God" afterall!) He WILL provide every grace you need to succeed! Do not fret that outside schools have better labs, sports teams, proms or "whatever" else is nagging at your heart. You can find any and all of those things in the homeschooling environment, as well!


Mistake: Another common mistake made by many homeschooling mothers is that we are hesitant (or afraid to) "diverge" in our daily routines/schedules/lessons.

Remedy: Set a certain day/time of the week aside for allowing your children to branch out and delve more deeply into the areas of the topics that they have expressed a great interest in, or desire to know more. Especially if you son or daughter has shown a true aptness within a specific area of study, you want to encourage and support them in their desire to know more or to work on projects that center on their interest. It may well be that God has gifted them in this area and it is your job, as homeschooling mother to provide every opportunity that you are able in order to support your child and help them increase their skills, talents, and love of learning. Keeping one day set aside for these "extras" helps mothers (especially those who feel that they MUST stick to a planner or curriculum/program) to encourage their children, while not feeling like they are "falling behind" or "wasting time".

Another way to approach this is to consider adapting your entire system of learning at home to a more "unschooled" approach. Many homeschoolers are "interest-led" in their educations at home. They do not invest in set curricula, nor do they follow a certain lesson plan for the daily schedule. They stock their homes and books shelves with lots of good books and learning materials and then they study those areas that their child expresses an interest in learning. There are several good books on the market that explain the "unschooling" approach more thoroughly. You can check a few of those out HERE.

Finally, making use of evening hours and/or the weekend is a useful idea in finding a remedy to this mistake. This will help the homeschooling mother feel as though she "stayed on task" during the school day; and yet, she is also indulging the particular interests and desires to learn more that her children have expressed by providing ample time for them (and taking part WITH them) during the other hours of the day or days of the week when they are not "working on school lessons". Thus, these "extra interests" become more like "special projects" or "family activities", rather than a divergence during the school day.

Mistake: It is also a common mistake of homeschooling mothers (myself, included) to "compartmentalize" our lives so that "school", "faith", and "family life" are kept separate from one another and out is spent trying to juggle each, individual aspect of our lives; rather than incorporating it ALL together and LIVING the lifestyle as an entirety, instead of in "sections" or "categories".

Remedy: There are several things you can do to blend your faith and your homeschooling endeavors together. First, you can choose curriculum, books, and materials that include and incorporate your specific faith background and beliefs into your lessons. Also, you can make an effort, as a family, to talk about God and engage in activities that reflect your beliefs on a daily basis; as opposed to "saving it for Sunday Mass or Wednesday Services". Special celebrations, holy days, and holidays are a wonderful means to making your faith more a part of your day. Homeschooling kids LOVE to think they're getting a "day off" once in a while; and this is a fun and easy way to do that. Making your particular "faith" a specific class during the day can be another remedy for this mistake. Add it to your schedule! This assures that your children will be learning more about your beliefs and thinking about God and His teachings throughout the day. Gather together, several times a day, for prayer, as a family! This helps you to LIVE your faith more. One mom mentioned to me, on a recent episode of our Mothers at Home Online Radio Show, that we need to "breathe the Holy Spirit" into our days at home with our children! I love that! You can listen to that show, entitled, "Incorporating the Faith into Your Homeschooling Days", IN THE ARCHIVES, HERE. All in all, the most effective remedy to this mistake is to live your faith in ALL you do so that your children will follow your example!





Mistake: It is a mistake for homeschooling mothers to lose their FOCUS and become DISTRACTED.

Remedy: The first part of solving this problem is to admit that you HAVE a problem and discern what the major culprits are which tend to distract you in your time teaching  your children. Once you have identified the distractions, you can take steps to rectify the situation. CLICK HERE FOR HELPFUL IDEAS ON THIS TOPIC.


Mistake: The last "common mistake" that many homeschooling mothers make that we are adding to this list is: LOSING OUR JOY.

Remedy: I find this particular topic so crucial and important to the journey of a homeschooling mother that I included an entire section about "JOY" in my book, "I Surrender".
As Christians, our "joy" is deep and abiding; and comes from the presence of GOD in our souls! This means that no matter how busy, stressful, challenging, and/or chaotic our days become in homeschooling, we still and always have reason to be "joyful". Exemplifying this virtue in the eyes of our children will bring long-lasting blessings and benefits to them as they grow toward adulthood.

Losing your joy? Try these remedies:

* Keep a JOY journal and spend time each day writing 3-5 causes of JOY in your life.

* Keep your sense of humor and don't be afraid to laugh with your kids. Sometimes, our studies are serious and require tremendous focus and effort. But, if are so caught-up in "productivity" that we lose sense of levity in our days, then we might as well just put our kids on the big yellow school bus the next day. Having your children with you is a TREMENDOUS blessing! ENJOY THEM!

* ASK FOR HELP. Pride and selfishness keep us from reaching out to accept the generous assistance of others. In fact, there is also a section in my book devoted to THIS topic. JOY has a way of escaping us when we feel overwhelmed and fatigued. We wouldn't be so, if only we would humble ourselves and ask for help, when needed. You can also get a mini e-book, entitled, "Learning to Ask for Help" by ordering it ($3.50) directly from me, HERE. (We are currently working on a page to make all of our mini-ebooks available in one place and will let you know when it is launched. In the meantime, use that link.)

* Keep a GRATITUDE journal. "Gratitude and JOY" go hand in hand. I host a meme each Wednesday on "A Thankful Woman's Book of Blessings" blog that states "A thankful heart is a joyful heart". If you have lost your sense of JOY in homeschooling, I'd venture to say that you probably have also lost your sense of gratitude and/or thankfulness in the day to day blessings of life. Homeschooling mothers can face some very serious trials and struggles in their marriages and family life...it is easy to lose sight of our blessings, at times. Writing down 3-5 things your thankful for, each day (or once a week if you'd like to join our meme) can go a long way in restoring your JOY!


That concludes this series on "Top Mistakes Homeschooling Moms Make" and "Remedies".
We hope that you have been able to glean useful insights and ideas for your homeschooling endeavors.

Our monthly newsletter, "The Homeschool Faith and Family Life Gazette" is offered free to our subscribers; and many moms write in to tell us how much they enjoy this "drop of encouragement" in the inbox each month! You can sign up by using the form at the bottom right hand side of THIS PAGE.


Check out our website for more information, resources, products, and articles to uplift, encourage, and support you in your daily family life and homeschooling journey!

P.S. Stay tuned for our next post on "The Socialization Issue"!

REMEDIES for Top Mistakes Homeschooling Moms Make

If you missed the first parts of this series, you can read them here and here.
Today's post is offered to provide some "remedies" for the mistakes we've been discussing thus far.


For the sake of cohesiveness, I will restate each mistake before the remedy.


1) Mistake: Judging ourselves and our success by what we see/perceive in others.

REMEDY: Part of the homeschooling mother's prayer life needs to be focused in this area.
Ask the Lord to help you believe in yourself and your ability to educate your children.
Remember that God "qualifies those He calls" and therefore, if He has chosen YOU as the mother of your
children, and further, has called you  to homeschooling, then YOU are the perfect person for the job and are giving them all they need to succeed. Yes, we may (should) learn from the goodness in others...and, for that matter, can also learn from others' mistakes. But, we mustn't judge ourselves by what others are doing, saying, or choosing for their own homeschooling journey. Every family is unique and God's mission and purpose and Will for each family is different. Make a list of your goals for each student for the year. When you begin to feel the temptation creeping in to look toward others for validation and/or approval, refer to your list and ask yourself if you are doing your best to reach your goals. If the answer is "yes", then you needn't look any further. Sure, it's fine to glean from the insights/wisdom of others, so long as it doesn't send us on a downward spiral of self-loathing or doubt. When you visit a friend or hear about something someone is doing that causes you to cringe and think, "I should be doing that" or "That's why it's not working for me...because I need this or that or the other"...go home and WRITE DOWN exactly what you saw in your friend, in their children, or at their home that made you think this. Then, reflect on your family's state in life and circumstances and education. Look at what you've written down in a practical and logical way. Would it help you to bring God glory? Would it strengthen your children in an area of weakness? Would it solve any issue/problem you are currently having? Would it bring/add to the joy, peace, harmony, and/or productivity of your homeschooling experience? If the answer is "yes", then decide how you can take what you've seen/learned, and implement it...if the answer is indifferent or "no, not really", then LET IT GO. Be glad for your friend that it works for her, but DO NOT feel the need to "do as the Romans do" in every case. One of the greatest blessings of homeschooling is that it allows you to cater to the individual needs/desires/interests and skills of your particular family members. You do NOT have to keep up with the Joneses!


2) Mistake: Going goo-goo eyed over books/curriculum and changing at the drop of a hat.

Remedy: Do a periodic review of your own homeschool. Decide how often this will occur. (Quarterly, twice a year, every month, etc...) Include your books/curriculum in the review...how is it going for you?
Are the texts, workbooks, and programs you've invested in serving their purpose? If so, then LET IT BE.
We do not have to give in to the latest, greatest, newest trend or books or programs that we come across.
If you really like something and think you'd benefit from using it, make note of it and plan to incorporate it in the FOLLOWING school year, but let your children finish what they are currently using IF IT'S A GOOD FIT. Every book and every assignment and subject we do does NOT need to be adventurous, exciting, and fun. Although we enjoy our ability to be spontaneous and diverge into different areas and paths during our lessons as we so-choose, we also fall into the bad habit of thinking that our kids have to love every single book they use. This just isn't true. It's nice to have books with lots of colorful graphics or interesting activities...but...is it necessary to spend money when you've already most likely invested a hundred or more dollars to get what you're using now? It also helps to teach our children about commitment and accountability when we "stick it out" even though we see something new and exciting that catches our eye. "Need" and "want" are two very different things. Do not switch books or programs unless you have a good reason for doing so.


3) Mistake: Blaming other things and/or people for our own procrastination.

REMEDY: Resolve and pray to be focused, diligent, and intentional as homeschooling instructors.
If lists and schedules help you, then make some and follow them. If you prefer to go day-by-day, that's fine; so long as you prepare the day BEFORE for the assignments and activities you want to accomplish the following day. Practice self-discipline by allowing yourself a certain amount of time to check email, play on Facebook, or work on your business from home. THEN STICK TO IT. Set the example for your kids by BEING what you expect them to be!  When we ask God for help, He sends those graces IMMEDIATELY. But, it does NO good if we do not open our hearts to receive it. We must do our part and meet God half way. He WILL bless us and come to our aid, but we must ACT on it. If it's really a problem for you, then handle yourself much like you'd handle your teen. NO FACEBOOK until 2 loads of laundry are washed, dried, and put away. NO taking phone calls until you have dinner in the oven and the table set to greet your husband, etc... You know where your own weakness lies...but, you also have the power, through God's grace to master yourself and make constructive and positive changes. Be honest.
If the true problem is not the curriculum, not the textbook, not the student...then, maybe, the problem is YOUR ATTITUDE.


4) Mistake: Making our issues our children's issues.

Remedy: When something is troubling you or you assume that something is going to pose a problem for your child; or, that he/she isn't going to like it...KEEP SILENT. Learn to be observant and perceptive but do NOT rush in and ACT on ever y worry or internal struggle you are confronted with. Using the example I gave in the first post (of worrying that my son was lonely) if you think your child is feeling that way...keep silent...watch the child...listen to the child...is he or she expressing that they are lonely? If not, then it might well be that it is YOUR issue and not theirs. If you start voicing your feelings out loud you just might influence your child in a negative way and cause problems to arise for them that were never there to begin with. Be silent. Pray. Watch. Listen. And, only act if the child is letting you know by word or action that they are having an issue.

5) Mistake: Reject any and every thing that remotely resembles "outside" school.

Remedy: BE WHO YOU ARE. Do NOT be afraid to glean from and use what you find valuable or worthwhile in the outside school setting. It is wrong to try to fit homeschoolers into a certain mold or stereotype. In fact, that is the antithesis of homeschooling wherein we are free to adapt, create, and customize our learning experiences as we see fit. Don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't have desks or a classroom...or a bulletin board or American flag, etc...if you and your children enjoy these things and it creates an environment that is safe, joyful, interesting, and productive, then GO FOR IT.
7 of my children have never stepped foot in an outside school. Yet, we have a classroom in our home that looks very much like one. THEY LOVE IT. THEY CHERISH IT. It is THEIR school room and they're proud of it. Had I have listened to the negative comments from those who feel that we are, in some way, undermining the homeschooling movement by being "like" an outside school, the my children (and I) would have missed out on a LOT of enjoyable things together. We like to decorate our bulletin board...we like to feed our fish each day...we like to sit together in the same room when we study...are we bound to it? No. Can we ever "do school" somewhere else? Of course. But, the point is...and the remedy to this mistake is to trust your own instincts when it comes to educating your children at home. If you see something a teacher or school outside the home is doing that you think "works" or is an "innovative and useful idea" then, by all means, USE it in your own home! There are many "teacher" sites online that have GREAT ideas...and I would have missed out on a lot of them had I shunned them because they were coming from "outside schools".

Check back soon for the second part of the REMEDIES to the Top Mistakes Homeschooling Moms Make!

In the meantime, if you'd like to sign up for our free, monthly newsletter, you can join our 200+ subscribers by using this form:

Email Name Then    Don't worry -- your e-mail address is kept secure. We will use it only to send you The Homeschool Faith and Family Life Gazette.

And, by the way, if you have a struggling learner in your family (especially in the area of reading) you'll really want to catch our next episode of "Mothers at Home" on Blog Talk Radio. Our guest will be Jill Campbell Farris, who specializes in neurological development, brain exercises, and parenting skills that help parents help their children maximize their learning potential. She'll be discussing how to identify the struggle, find its root, and take steps to make things better for your precious son or daughter. You can listen in on Friday, June 1st, at 12:30 pm EDT, RIGHT HERE.

Naked Scanner iPhone App? Really?

Granted, I am probably not the most qualified of persons to write this post, as I don't own a cell phone of any sort; much less a "smart" one, at that.

However, I have been known to gleefully participate in the occasional game of Angry Birds on the iPads that the receptionist at our dentist's office hands out to keep the kids buys/occupied/quiet while we wait our turn. (It always amuses me how my kids can pick these things up and instinctively; or so it seems, know how to use them. We don't own one, so how do they know? )

I understand the certain worthy uses and conveniences that these gadgets/phones have. It's nice to have on hand when you travel, should your car break down or you suddenly remember that you forgot to turn the oven off and need to call home and tell someone else to do it.

And, I can see that some of the games and activities that one can access online or by download can be very entertaining; and...ok...even educational, at times.

But...I decided to check out a link for a free iphone app recently and was completely aghast to see (right next to "Angry Birds", actually!) an offer for the "Naked Scanner" app. The by-line read "See through your friends' clothes"!

REALLY?!? Is this REAL?!?

Please tell me that this is some kind of "app" joke and that only people, like me, who "live under our nice, neat, old-fashioned little rocks" fall into believing that this is legitimate and true.

I must say that there were several other "apps" that I found quite inappropriate and less-than-desirable, as well; which were advertised as the "ultimate accessories for men".

Hmmm....

All I can say is that the next time I think that I might cave in and conform to society by getting myself one of these phones; or, worse yet, convince myself that my kids or teens need one...I will be much more inclined to resist the thought and spend my money somewhere else; if only for the fact that I would never want my kids or husband even BROWSING the site to get the apps!

Ok, now, tell me, truly, Friends of Benmakesten.

Is the Naked Scanner App REAL?!?

Top Mistakes of Homeschool Moms Part II

If you missed, the first part of this topic, you can find it here.

The purpose of this little series is to draw your attention to some of the common "pit falls" that homeschooling mothers can fall into; and to (hopefully) inspire and encourage you to seek constructive and positive change, where needed, in your own journey.

Some more mistakes that homeschooling mothers make are:


6) We fall into the trap (read: SNARE OF THE DEVIL) of thinking that we are inadequate or incapable of providing all that our children need in their education, at home. Once again, our eyes wander to those outside  the home, earning letter-jackets on the local high school football team, winning scholarships to top-rated universities, having access to top-of-the-line tools and technology in the labs and "shops" of local schools; and, especially for moms who don't have a college degree, fearing that the Masters of Education degrees that many outside school teachers have "trumps" anything you might have to offer as a mother at home. It is SO clear that this is a spiritual attack. Your enemy does not WANT you to bring your children home to educate them, for he KNOWS how valuable this can be in raising children for Christ. As the church teaches, parents are the first and foremost educators, by God-ordained right, in the lives of their children. Through the graces provided in the Sacrament of Matrimony, we are given ALL that is needed, in order to educate our children; mind, body, and soul. It is by the cleverness and wiles of the enemy that we are tempted to think that we don't "have what it takes" to teach our kids.
(Make sure you keep following this series so that you will take note of the "resolution" to this particular "mistake" in a future post.) We are strong in our convictions but begin to fail in our confidence. We doubt ourselves and fear that our children would be better off in outside schools. MISTAKE.


7) Another common mistake made by many homeschooling mothers is that we are hesitant (or afraid to) "diverge" in our daily routines/schedules/lessons. Sometimes, we overlook (or ignore) a certain gift, talent, or interest in one or more of our children because:

A. We think that we MUST stick to the plan/curriculum.

B. We think that we will "fall behind" if we go off on a "side interest".

C. We think that we simply do not have time to fit "one more thing" into our schedules.

D. We think that it's (whatever *it* might be) not important.

THIS IS A MISTAKE! One of the greatest blessings in homeschooling is the ability to cater toward individual learning styles/abilities/interests. God created children to be naturally curious and desirous of learning new things. If we fail to encourage and support these little "sparks" that our children show in their desire to build upon a certain skill or delve more deeply into a certain topic, then we are failing our children in a certain aspect because we are not allowing them to reach their full potentials as children of God. Certainly, we can not cater to every whim, curiosity, or want of our children; but, I am speaking more about those instances when we can see a true desire to learn more and we fail to indulge them; for whatever reason.


8) It is also a common mistake of homeschooling mothers (myself, included) to "compartmentalize" our lives so that "school", "faith", and "family life" are kept separate from one another and out is spent trying to juggle each, individual aspect of our lives; rather than incorporating it ALL together and LIVING the lifestyle as an entirety, instead of in "sections" or "categories". Homeschooling is FAR more than merely "doing school at home". It is a true lifestyle; a calling, or vocation, if you will and we will fail to be productive, content, and joyful in our experience if we tend to see things as "separate" rather than "WHOLE".


9) It is a mistake for homeschooling mothers to lose their FOCUS and become DISTRACTED. Often, this begins as a tiny "snowball" which, quickly turns into a monstrous and devastating avalanche!
(Again, make sure to keep following these posts so that you can read the "remedies" to these mistakes when they are posted!) Becoming distracted is counter-productive to the success, peace, and harmony of our homeschooling lifestyle. Yes, we enjoy the ability and opportunity that homeschooling naturally provides for us to be "relaxed" and a bit "laid back" in our schedules, routines, and lessons when we so-choose...however, developing the bad habit of a perpetual-distraction has a tendency to cause GREAT amounts of stress, chaos, and lack of contentment when educating our children at home.

10) The last "common mistake" that many homeschooling mothers make that we are adding to this list is: LOSING OUR JOY. You've seen the lovely little acronym for the word "JOY", I'm sure: Jesus. Others. You. SO TRUE for a homeschooling mother, if she wishes to maintain a spirit of JOY and a willing heart in her endeavors! If you've been teaching your children at home for any length of time, then it may well be, that you begin to "take it all for granted". Losing our JOY will carry over into other areas of our life: family life, marriage, and friendships, to name a few. Where there is Christ, there is JOY for He IS the cause of all joy. Therefore, it follows that if JOY is disappearing from your daily demeanor and atmosphere in homeschooling...then, you are taking your eyes OFF of Jesus! THIS IS A MISTAKE!

Check back here in a day or so as we begin to post 'THE REMEDIES' to the Top Mistakes Homeschooling Mothers Make!

In the meantime, we'd love to hear your opinions on this series. Have you fallen in to any of these mistakes? Are there others you'd add to the list? Drop a line in the comments and share your thoughts!

Top Mistakes Homeschool Moms Make

It is my privilege and pleasure to be able to hear from, connect with, and support homeschooling mothers from more than 35 different countries across the globe, through my website:

Homeschool Faith and Family Life

Throughout the years that we have been striving and working to uplift, encourage, and assist these dear mothers in their daily family life journeys, I have found that there is a common thread of "mistakes" that homeschooling moms tend to make; myself, included!

My hope is that by sharing this post, it will help homeschooling mothers to become alert and aware of these pitfalls so that they need not fall in to these ways; which can, if not kept in-check, be detrimental to the homeschooling experience and lifestyle.

If you recognize yourself in any of the following, now is the time to ponder constructive and positive change!

Top Mistakes Homeschool Moms Make:

1) The A-number one mistake homeschooling mothers make is judging themselves and their own success by what they see/perceive in others! Have you done this? Have you ever been plugging happily along, in your own little groove, content and productive, only to be invited to a "play-date" wherein you catch a glimpse of your friend's house, her children's rooms, their school and art work, and the stories/evidence of all the wonderful extra curricular activities, projects, field trips, and assignments they've been doing? Suddenly, all of what you THOUGHT was wonderful in your own homeschool seems inferior? Inadequate? Lacking BIG time? Ah, yes...I've been there, too. That's why I'm here to tell you that this is a HUGE; read: GYNORMOUS mistake! God calls each and every homeschooling family to their own place/mission/purpose in the journey. Your job is to pray and discern what works best for YOUR family and to be the BEST that you can be; according to God's will for YOUR life.
No "peeking over the pasture fence to see the *apparent* green grasses"! It's fine to enjoy your friend's homeschooling ideas, systems, curriculum, displays, projects, and activities...and to be happy that things are going well for her...and it's fine to learn from her in such a way that you can apply her insights, wisdom, or practical advice to your own experience in order to grow in body, mind, and soul, along with your family...but it is NOT...I repeat: NOT ok to think less of what you are accomplishing with your children the minute you lay eyes on someone else's. "Do not try to be anything other than what you are; and try to be that, perfectly" ~Francis DeSales~


2) Another mistake many of us homeschooling mothers make is that we go GOO-GOO-EYED over new books and/or curriculum. We might be very happy with a certain set of readers or math text, or *other* program. But, as soon as we attend a curriculum fair or (again) visit a friend, we see new, shiny books, and hear wonderful stories of success, and we think we MUST have them...Thus, we go about changing and swapping out; sometimes half way (or more!) through the year; when, in reality, things were fine just as they were and we did NOT NEED to make any changes in our book choices.
The old adage: "Don't fix what ain't broken" fits well here.


3) This next mistake might not "sit well" with some who read this; but, I feel that it must be said.
Sometimes, homeschooling mothers blame curriculum, or students, or busy schedules, or husbands, or "programs", when the REAL problem is their own laziness/procrastination. (Remember, I am  not pointing fingers here; but including myself in all of these mistakes). Who hasn't gone round and round and round, saying things like, "If we could just get a new math book" or "If only my kids would be better at doing chores without being reminded" OR "If only my husband would take more of an interest in our homeschooling and/or initiative in our spiritual/prayer life", etc...Maybe you blame your busy sports schedule or dance lessons or community service commitments as the reason you simply "can't get the laundry done" or "weren't prepared for school lessons" that day. The truth is, if you hadn't spent so much time on your smart phone or playing games on FB, then, you COULD have come to class better-prepared and gotten your housework done before your husband arrived home for supper...which, speaking of supper, could have been a nice chicken and potato dinner, with table nicely set; rather than the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches you slopped together; blaming all of the above as the reason you didn't have time to make something better. We moms need to pray for the grace to BE the instructor our children need us to be; and, then, we need to ACT on the grace God immediately sends, by doing OUR part. We need to make up our minds to BE prepared...to keep up on grading...to have the planners filled in...to run copies and printables the night BEFORE they are needed; and, to gather supplies for any extra projects/crafts/artwork we have planned. We need to hang up the phone or log off the computer and DO THE LAUNDRY. We need to work along-side the kids to get the house cleaned and ready to greet our husbands; rather than barking orders as we sit on the couch with our laptops. We need to set our priorities and keep them in order; giving 100% to our efforts each day.

4) Homeschooling mothers make their own issues, their children's issues. By this, I mean that many times we assume something about our children's situation/circumstance that isn't the reality; but we perceive it to be or fear it might be because of our own preconceived notions or upbringing. Case in point: I used to worry myself sick that my eldest son was lonely and isolated. We moved to the woods when he was just becoming a teen. His older sister was no longer living at home and the next child down the line was 5 years younger. While that particular sibling has the next closest brother only a year behind her...and the other kids (6 of them) were born in under 7 years' time...this one son, SEEMED TO ME, like a fifth wheel in our own family circle. Too old to do some things and not old enough to do others. I worried that he missed his friends when the gasoline prices kept us from being able to travel and join many activities. He would tell me, time and time again, that he was fine...that he didn't mind being by himself and that he didn't always have to be running out and going somewhere...but I kept pushing it...and I kept worrying. Years later, he told me that there was never a time in his life when he was lonely. I realized then, that it had been MY issue the whole time; not his. He was happy and content. . . but, because I had grown up in the busy suburbs of Pgh and had gone to outside schools my whole life, I thought that HE thought that there should be something MORE. I was so caught up in my conjectures that I failed to notice how busy and active my son truly was...and moreover, how happy and content he was, by himself and with his siblings, as well. If YOU have an issue...keep it to yourself or share it, in private, with your husband or other trusted confidant...DON'T bring it up to your children unless THEY bring it up to you! More times than not, what's bothering you is NOT bothering them!


5) Something else that I consider a "mistake" common to homeschooling moms is that they will, often times, reject or disregard anything that bears any similarity to an outside school. For instance, some moms refuse to create a set-apart space/room in their homes for their children to learn because they think it resembles a "classroom". Some moms refuse to give tests or use letter grades or follow a schedule, etc...and any number of other things, if they feel that it will be like "bringing school into the home". I state this as a mistake because although there might be things that we, as homeschooling mothers, wish to avoid in the secular and private outside school systems, there are other things from which we can glean many positive ideas/customs/resources, etc...that can be of great asset to us in our homeschooling endeavors. There is NOTHING wrong with taking what we see as "good" in the outside schools, and incorporating it into our homeschooling environments. One of the great blessings of homeschooling is that we are each free to create the atmosphere that we feel is best for our families. This means that families are free to supplement their learning with anything they feel will be of benefit.
Don't be afraid to use the good ideas that teachers and schools outside the home have, if you feel that your family will be blessed by it.

STAY TUNED FOR MORE "Top Mistakes Homeschool Moms Make" in the near future!

This series will be followed by further posts which offer ways to rectify these issues and remedy these mistakes.